Blossom is playing basketball this year and it’s her first time playing sports. I watch her with pride and a lot of empathy for the apprehension she has of it being the first time. It’s another step away and yet a step ahead.
I watch her play without “watching” her. She runs up and down the court looking into the stands to see what my reaction is and to see if she needs some “advice”. Most of the time I try to watch her in the periphery of my sight. I can see her but she can’t see that I can see her. She seems to relax a bit when she doesn’t feel like I’m scrutinizing her and getting ready to tell her how to do something. I see her relax and dribble the ball with ease and begin to watch what’s going on a little better.
It is her first year and she has a lot to learn and one of the things she needs to learn is basketball is not Mom’s territory, it’s the coach’s. I want her to learn and excel without worrying whether I think she’s doing it right or wrong. It’s tough teaching your kid to trust that other adults know what they are talking about and that Mom isn’t always the only authority. I’m so glad she has such a patient coach who understands the need to “refocus” the kids back to him on a regular basis.
It really is hard not hollering “watch your girl!” or “Get the ball!” when she looks me straight in the eye, but sometimes I can’t control myself. After all, I am a Mom and that’s what we do. We take charge when we see our kids taking a misstep or not doing something the “right way”.
I’m doing my best to expand Blossom’s vision from an “audience of one” to team of many, to teach her to rely not only on her coach but on her teammates. Living her life as an only child who relies largely on her Mom for advice and guidance makes it a bit harder to move into this territory. It’s a lot of work for her and for me as well. We’ve both become very accustom to this way of life and thinking. As the Mom and the adult, it’s my responsibility to keep things moving in that direction. I know participating in a team sport will aid her in life as she learns what it means to be a team player.
My new role as an Audience of One is to tell her “Good job honey! I’m so proud of you!”