Scars Withheld

A singer’s vocals complained and harmonica notes wailed and argued, both sounded sad and angry and mirrored the emotional battle at table eight. Lauren invited her friend Shay to meet her and Eric for drinks at Larry’s Lounge. Eric curled his lip and made comments laced with acid words and judgments about Lauren’s friend. Shay, amped on crystal she’d smoked outside, pistoned her finger into his face, spit dappled him as she shrieked,

“The scars I hide are not your business! Get! Out! of my face!”

Drinks tottered on the table as she stood up and staggered out the door.

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I wrote this piece after Lance at “My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog” prompted with the song “Hotel Illness” by the Black Crows. His challenge is to write a 100 word piece using this song as inspiration.

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14 comments on “Scars Withheld

  1. Lance says:

    so gritty and real…I love it. This is my kind of 100. Thank you for finding me and the 100 word song…

    Like

  2. Tara R. says:

    Her anger is palpable. Loved this line ‘…pistoned her finger into his face, spit dappled him as she shrieked…’ Very intense.

    Like

  3. Carrie says:

    I could picture the scene: the judgmental guy, the friend caught in the middle, and the woman dealing with her own personal demons.

    As it was said, gritty and intense

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      Thanks for your comments! I really appreciate the feedback. I love writing emotional situations and giving the reader good visual cues.

      Like

  4. jesterqueen1 says:

    I liked the detail about her smoking crystal before she came in. It gave a sense of what snide things the boyfriend might have said.

    Like

  5. eden baylee says:

    Gosh, I felt that…nicely done,
    eden

    Like

  6. SAM says:

    Very visual, I felt that spray of spit. Great writing, deb!

    Like

  7. Cameron says:

    I’ve been on a Breaking Bad marathon, so meth has been part of the escapist portion of my day… it punches up the imagery here a lot, the loud bar really vibrates, the chemically enhanced fury is really visual.

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      I hate to admit my voyeur side watches Intervention so I’ve watching that I’ve seen the unreasonable anger meth can induce. And I’m married to a cop so I here things. Needs something in the piece to accelerate the emotional response because 100 words is a tight write!

      Like

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