Climbing Out

Emma’s bootsteps echoed hollow, sharp off marble mausoleum walls. Reverb steps determine a path away from that past. Sun beams rushed her, attempted to banish saturated cold stone and death.

As she walked, doll size figures grew to life size. Aunt Polly, Cora, Father Peter. A small table bore the urn; her “father” entrapped.

“Let’s get this over with.”

“…that he may not receive in punishment the requital of his deeds …” Eyes roll, she snickered.

“Amen”

Escape steps shattered quiet; a thought punished,

“I will climb this high wall in remembrance of him to regain or re-earn my life”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m in! Jumping in the sandbox and playing 100 Word Song with LeRoy on Lance’s blog My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog. My entry has Emma dealing in her way with the death of her father. Conveying her contempt and mixed emotions about the passing of the man who raised her stretches my writing “muscles” with the 100 word limit and using music as inspiration; this week it’s a dark goth piece Lillies And Remains by Bauhaus.

My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog
Advertisements

20 comments on “Climbing Out

  1. Lance says:

    The somber, religious tone you took was very inspired. I like this a lot Deb and welcome back!

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      Thanks Lance. On both accounts. I’m probably another week away from really focusing on writing but I needed to write SOMETHING and 100 Word song was the perfect place.

      Like

  2. Tara R. says:

    The eye roll and snicker said it all.

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      I had a hard time deciding on the word snicker. It had to conveying contempt and disbelief in the sanctity of his soul. I’m glad I chose the right word 🙂

      Like

  3. k~ says:

    I like what you did with this, and that she did not lose her personality through the transfromation. My favorite lines I read four times, then went back to read it all over again: “Escape steps shattered quiet, a thought punished,” Awesome!

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      Sometimes I think “Gosh Emma, lighten up!” but then I remember the history I’ve given her and know she owns the right to be who she is. She would not have a moment of compassion for this man. Thanks for the compliment! Being a fav for someone on the 100 Word Song is highly regarded given the level of writing this prompt brings.

      Like

  4. barbara says:

    her father entrapped
    freedom – give him freedom, I say! Yes, the snicker and eyeroll. Great.

    Like

  5. t says:

    I’ve been sitting here for a spell trying to find what I thought was the best part, but it’s really all 100 words perfect – nice!

    Like

  6. Jennifer Worrell says:

    “Snicker” did it for me…great word! I really got the picture here…want to know more…

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      Thanks! 🙂 You can find the story as it stands so far on the page at the top titled “Emma Undone”. There are links on that page to all of the posts I have done in this fiction piece.

      Like

  7. Cameron says:

    Love the way you worked in the quote at the end!

    Like

  8. TheKirCorner says:

    as a Catholic, I was standing right in that hallway, could hear her footsteps and saw her eye roll.

    this was excellent.

    Like

    • debseeman says:

      I had to look up the graveside prayers and had to find a few that I could quote for the piece. I truly had to use my imagination to fill in the atmosphere. I’m glad you could “feel” the surroundings. Living in the Midwest, we don’t have crypts like this. It’s always outside, graveside. So here it would be “squish, squish, squish” or “crunch crunch crunch” depending on if it’s wet and soggy or hot and crisp.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s